Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I have huge boobs. If you have ever met me you know this to be true. Almost every doctor who has ever given me a breast exam has suggested breast reduction. I've thought about it, even gone through some preliminary stuff with the insurance company but I haven't done it yet. I figure God blessed me with these 'endowments' to use for their intended purpose...breastfeeding. It's too bad I'm not having twins cause I could probably feed two or three babies with these monsters. In truth breast size is not indicative of milk production. Women with larger breast tend to have more difficulty breastfeeding than women with smaller breasts. Just my luck.

I never have understood why women want to pay good money for huge knockers. Unless you are a stripper or a porn star why do you want DDD breasts? Silicon breast must not weigh as much as natural breasts. Who wants to spend the rest of their lives lugging around 30 more pounds on your chest. Bras that hold DDD breasts are not super cute or super sexy they are boring an utilitarian. The straps dig groves into your shoulders and the weight can ruin your posture. While my breasts will 'deflate' with age your fake boobs will stay the same even when you are 75 years old. They might look nice but how do you think it will feel on your poor calcium deprived bones. As with most things the grass seems greener on the other side but most of the time it's really not.

***This next part might be a little TMI***

Everyone knows your breast get bigger once you become pregnant. But what you might not know about are some of the other changes that take place. Almost immediately after we confirmed our pregnancy my breasts began to change. Of course I was scrutinizing them each day but some of the changes were pretty obvious. With weigh gain the breasts do enlarge and mine did but not a lot. I should really go up a bra size but I really don't want to have to ask for a size G.

Nipple size also changed. Before I became pregnant I had very small nipples I'm talking the size of pencil erasers...#2 pencils not the cap kind. Now I've seen some other boobies in my life and I always thought it was weird that my nipples were so small. I chalked it up to differences in breasts. Turns out all I needed was a little pregnancy hormone and BOING there they are. Nice big respectably sized nipples. And of course larger, darker areolas.

My breast are of course more tender these days, like they are right before your period. Sometimes even hugs can be painful. And it doesn't help that the dogs and cats like to walk across my chest at night. I am told that eventually my breasts may look like road maps where you can see the veins under the skin a little more as your whole body becomes more vascular to provide blood to the baby. That has not occurred as of yet.

This past weekend my mom and I went shopping for maternity clothes and came away with lots of cute things for the baby but only one pair of jeans and a shirt for me. I picked the shirt out as it looked rather pajama like and I need more PJs now that I am growing out of my others. Mom commented that the shirt was cute enough to wear as a regular shirt. So I washed all my new clothes last night and put the shirt on...There were to huge holes in the front. I got a little upset thinking the shirt has somehow become ripped in the wash but upon further inspection I found that was not the case. They were holes for your boobs...I had unknowingly purchased a nursing shirt. The holes were cleverly hidden on the folds of the shirt and placed there for the purpose of breastfeeding your child at night. You just pop one out and got to town!

I was stunned. I felt a little, i don't know 'degraded'. I felt like an object, like a carton of milk to be used up and tossed aside. So many things about pregnancy make you feel so cute and adorable. This did not. You think about breastfeeding and you imagine it's this idyllic thing between mother and child but again I don't think people think about the mechanics of the whole thing. And the mess. Just like most things that women have to go through - giving birth, menstruation, grooming, yeast infections...it's gross. A nursing bra is one thing, it's all discreet and stuff but this shirt is just all out there in your face about it. Hey, hey look at my boobs! It's all so "National Geographic".

Don't get me wrong I still intend to do it, I guess the shirt was just a little cold water in the face. I believe in the importance of breastfeeding your child or at least feeding breast milk. Let's face it some of us just are not able to breast feed. But you can rest assured I will not become one of those militant breast feeders.